Don’t Just Plan the Wedding—Prepare for the Marriage

The cake, the guest list, the photographer—you’ve probably thought about every detail of your wedding day. But how much time have you spent preparing for the decades that come after?

Premarital counselling is one of the smartest, most proactive investments you can make in your future together.

Not because something is wrong. But because you want it to go right.

While engagement is a joyful time, it’s also a major transition. You’re not just committing to love each other—you’re committing to build a life together. That means navigating finances, family expectations, communication styles, and different ways of coping with stress or conflict. These conversations matter. And having them early, with the support of a trained therapist, helps you build a strong foundation that lasts long after the honeymoon ends.

“The best time to address challenges in a relationship is before they become patterns. Premarital counselling helps couples set up healthy habits from the start.”
– Sangeeta Sirohi, RCC, Founder of Sigpark Counselling

Research supports this. A comprehensive study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that couples who participated in premarital counselling were 31% less likely to divorce than those who didn’t.
(Source, APA PsycNet)

In this blog, we’ll explore:

What premarital counselling actually looks like
The most common topics couples cover
Why even happy couples benefit from it
And how Sigpark Counselling supports engaged couples in Vancouver and across BC

If you’re ready to build a marriage that’s just as strong as your wedding plans, this guide is for you.

Why Premarital Counselling Is So Valuable

Most couples enter marriage with love, commitment, and a shared vision for the future. But even the strongest relationships can be challenged by miscommunication, stress, and unmet expectations—especially when they haven’t been talked through ahead of time.

That’s where premarital counselling comes in.

“Too often, couples wait until they’re in distress to seek help. Premarital therapy gives couples a head start—by helping them navigate emotional, financial, and relational differences before they become sources of long-term conflict.”
– Sangeeta Sirohi, RCC, Founder of Sigpark Counselling

This isn’t about “fixing” your relationship—it’s about strengthening it with the same care and intention you’re putting into your wedding plans.

The Real Benefits of Premarital Counselling

The numbers speak for themselves: in one meta-analysis, couples who completed premarital counselling were about 31% less likely to divorce than those who didn’t . Another large survey showed that couples who received premarital education reported higher satisfaction and commitment, with significantly lower odds of divorce. That’s a real impact backed by serious research.

Here’s why it works:

You uncover hidden assumptions.
Most couples don’t realise how differently they view things like money, parenting, or in-laws until a conflict happens. Counselling gives you space to explore these topics before they become pressure points.
You learn to navigate conflict with respect.
Premarital counselling equips you with communication tools, emotional regulation strategies, and a shared understanding of how to work through differences productively.
You build emotional safety early.
Being vulnerable is easier when there’s a neutral, non-judgmental space to do it. A trained therapist can help you have hard conversations with compassion and clarity.
You develop a shared framework.
Rather than reacting in the moment, couples leave counselling with an agreed-upon plan for handling stress, family boundaries, finances, and future goals.

What You’ll Talk About in Premarital Counselling

You’re not signing up for a lecture—you’re opening the door to conversations that matter. Premarital counselling isn’t just a checklist of awkward topics. It’s a guided space where you and your partner learn how to listen, speak, and plan as a team.

Each therapist’s approach may vary slightly, but here are the most common areas explored during sessions:

Communication Styles

Do you shut down during conflict while your partner needs to talk things out? Do you both default to sarcasm or get defensive without realising it?

You’ll learn to:

Identify your communication styles
Interrupt negative cycles (like criticism or withdrawal)
Use tools like “I” statements and active listening

Therapists may draw from techniques like The Gottman Method, which helps couples de-escalate tension and rebuild connection during conflict.

Money and Financial Beliefs

Money is one of the top sources of marital tension. But the issue often isn’t the budget—it’s the beliefs and emotions behind it.

Topics might include:

Spending and saving habits
Financial roles and responsibilities
Long-term goals like home ownership or retirement

According to a study by SunTrust Bank, finances are the leading cause of stress in relationships, with 35% of couples citing money as their main conflict.

Family and Parenting Expectations

Whether you plan to have children or not, it’s important to clarify your values around parenting, discipline, work-life balance, and extended family boundaries.

You might discuss:

How you were each raised and what you want to emulate or change
Cultural or religious traditions
Parenting timelines or fertility concerns

This is especially valuable if you come from different cultural, religious, or socioeconomic backgrounds.

Sex and Intimacy

Yes, this comes up too—but not in a clinical or awkward way. It’s about exploring:

Love languages
Emotional connection vs. physical needs
Frequency, preferences, and expectations

Premarital counselling helps you align emotionally and physically so both partners feel seen and valued.

Goals, Roles, and the Big Picture

You’re building a life together. That life has timelines, dreams, dealbreakers, and compromises.

You’ll discuss:

Career plans
Geographic location
Family planning
Division of responsibilities

The goal isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to know how to approach the questions together.

Common Myths About Premarital Counselling

Premarital counselling has come a long way from being seen as a “last step before the altar.” Today, it’s widely recommended by therapists, marriage educators, and even financial planners.

Still, some myths persist—and they keep many couples from taking advantage of this powerful resource.

Let’s clear those up.

Myth 1: “We don’t need counselling—we already get along.”

It’s great that you’re not in crisis. That’s actually the best time to start.

Premarital counselling isn’t about fixing problems. It’s about building strong foundations and learning how to navigate challenges before they happen.

According to The Gottman Institute, couples who develop conflict resolution skills early are far more likely to maintain satisfaction during high-stress seasons (like having kids, moving, or career shifts).

Myth 2: “It’s only for religious or traditional couples.”

While some faith-based programs include premarital sessions, counselling today is secular, flexible, and inclusive.

At Sigpark Counselling, we work with:

Secular couples
LGBTQIA2S+ couples
Intercultural partnerships
Second marriages or blended families

The process is always adapted to your values, not anyone else’s.

Myth 3: “It’ll be awkward or judgmental.”

A good therapist doesn’t lecture or play referee. Instead, they:

Guide thoughtful conversation
Create a neutral, respectful environment
Help each partner feel heard, not blamed

“Counselling isn’t about pointing out your flaws. It’s about creating a safe place to grow together—on your terms.”
– Sangeeta Sirohi, RCC

Myth 4: “We’ll just figure it out after the wedding.”

You probably wouldn’t wait until your house is flooding to buy a plunger. Marriage is no different.

Addressing expectations around finances, in-laws, intimacy, and roles before the vows can help you avoid deeper conflict later—and give you a clear plan for working through the tough stuff when it comes.

How Counselling Builds a Foundation for Long-Term Success

Getting married is easy. Staying married—happily, healthily, and with mutual respect—takes a solid foundation.

That’s where premarital counselling shines.

It’s not just about avoiding divorce. It’s about learning how to stay connected during life’s inevitable storms. Think of counselling as relationship training: the emotional fitness plan that helps you handle stress, disagreement, and growth—together.

Communication that Actually Works

It’s no secret that communication is the #1 issue in most relationships. But here’s what most couples get wrong:

They think good communication means talking more. What it really means is listening better, responding with care, and learning how to approach tension without defensiveness.

In premarital counselling, you learn how to:

Recognize your conflict style (withdrawal, escalation, blame)
Use timeouts and repair statements
Speak to be heard—without triggering shutdown or pushback

📚 Want to learn more about improving how you talk through conflict? Check out this blog post on managing different parenting styles from Sigpark Counselling.

Expectation Alignment

It’s easy to assume you’re on the same page—until one of you wants four kids and the other’s not sure about even one. Or until finances come up. Or family dynamics get in the mix.

A big part of premarital counselling is making the unspoken spoken—about money, roles, intimacy, holidays, career paths, and more.

According to research published in the Journal of Family Psychology, couples who go through structured premarital counselling report significantly higher satisfaction in their early years of marriage and are 31% less likely to divorce than those who don’t.

📊 Source: APA PsycNet Meta-Analysis Summary

Conflict Resolution You Can Actually Use

It’s not about having zero fights. It’s about learning how to fight fair.

In counselling, you’ll explore proven tools like:

The “soft startup” technique from the Gottman Method
De-escalation skills from Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
Reframing conflict as shared problem-solving

These techniques aren’t just theory. A 2020 study from the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that couples using EFT techniques showed sustained improvements in trust and emotional closeness, even 12 months after therapy ended.

Teamwork Over Time

The real goal? Building a sense of shared identity and resilience.

Premarital therapy helps couples develop:

A “we” mindset instead of “you vs. me”
Clarity about shared goals
Confidence in how to handle challenges together

As Sangeeta Sirohi, RCC and Founder of Sigpark Counselling, explains:

“It’s not about solving every future problem. It’s about giving couples the mindset, tools, and partnership they need to solve problems together.”

What to Expect in a Premarital Counselling Session

If you’ve never been to therapy before, you might wonder what actually happens in a premarital counselling session. Spoiler: it’s not awkward, and it’s definitely not about pointing fingers.

At Sigpark Counselling, the experience is designed to feel collaborative, thoughtful, and personalized to your relationship—not like a generic worksheet or one-size-fits-all checklist.

Here’s what most couples can expect:

A Calm, Confidential Space to Talk Openly

Your therapist creates a neutral, supportive environment where both partners feel equally heard. You’ll be encouraged to explore sensitive topics with honesty, curiosity, and respect—without judgment or pressure.

If you’re doing virtual sessions, you’ll receive the same level of connection and structure, just from the comfort of your own home. (And yes, virtual premarital counselling works just as well.)

A Structured, But Flexible Process

Premarital counselling typically begins with a few intake questions about your history, values, and relationship strengths. From there, each session may explore topics like:

Conflict patterns and communication habits
Differences in family upbringing or traditions
Financial planning styles and decision-making
Sex, intimacy, and emotional closeness
Shared goals and how to support each other’s dreams
What a supportive partnership looks like day to day

Sessions can be booked as a short-term series (e.g. 3–6 sessions) or integrated into a longer-term relationship counselling plan, depending on your needs.

Practical Tools, Not Just Conversations

Yes, you’ll talk—but you’ll also learn concrete skills you can use in real life:

How to de-escalate arguments
How to navigate differences without resentment
How to build shared rituals for connection
How to stay emotionally attuned during stress

Think of this as emotional preparation for life’s less romantic seasons—when you’re managing finances, raising kids, dealing with loss, or making big decisions.

Premarital sessions at Sigpark are inclusive of all relationship types and cultural backgrounds. Whether you’re preparing for your first marriage, a second union, or blending families, our work is rooted in empathy, curiosity, and care.

👉 Ready to find out if premarital therapy is right for you? Book a free 15-minute consultation to learn more about the process and ask any questions you might have.

Conclusion: Your Marriage Deserves More Than Just a Wedding Plan

You’ve spent time choosing the perfect venue, curating a guest list, and planning your honeymoon. But here’s a question: Have you prepared for what comes after the celebration?

Premarital counselling isn’t about fixing a broken relationship—it’s about investing in a strong one. It gives you the space, tools, and clarity to build something lasting—not just beautiful for a day, but grounded for a lifetime.

You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need a willingness to talk, listen, and grow together.

Whether you’re navigating money conversations, blending families, or simply want to strengthen your bond before marriage, Sigpark Counselling is here to support you.

“The strongest relationships aren’t the ones without conflict. They’re the ones where both partners know how to reconnect, even when things get hard.”
– Sangeeta Sirohi, RCC

💬 Ready to start building your future—together?

Book your free 15-minute consultation with Sigpark Counselling today.
We’ll walk you through the process, answer your questions, and help you lay the foundation for the kind of marriage you’ve always hoped for.